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9 Jan 2007

Counselling Homework, Task Ten



OK here's the last homework task! and its an appropriate one because its about endings. This is a very personal one so i understand if people don't want to share on this one. I will as usual post my answers in a day.

But don't worry i start my next level tomo, so a whole bunch of new stuff!

Endings
Endings are an important part of the counselling process and may be concerned with loss as well as a celebration of achievements. Both client and counsellor may experience feelings associated with loss.
In groups of three discuss the following: (remember your doing it on your own).

  • WHAT KINDS OF ENDINGS OR LOSSES HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED?
  • WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS AT THE TIME?

23 comments:

  1. Thank you for stopping by my blog earlier today! (By way of Skittles)

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  2. I have had many losses in my life and I have already blogged about them before, but I'll take part with this one too. By the way I drop by your blog by way of RN's Blog Hopping.

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  3. This is a blog post I did in October 26 I called Changes. I think it fits your question about Endings.
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    My three year old boy, ran in from playing outside with his brothers. He clambered on my lap with his cowboy hat and toy gun and started to nurse. I was a strong proponent of self-weaning. He suddenly stopped, sat up on my lap and announced, "I am a big boy now" and pushed my breast away, he had chosen to move on in his life. This was my last child, an era had come to an expected close, and that special time was over for ever.

    The next closure was when the last child left home for good. I felt relieved, on the one hand, that my mothering duties were over, but tearful for the close of another era in my life. All three boys had left for another province, because of the need for work, so it was hard to accept that I would not see them very often.

    After the boys all left home we sold the house. It was too large for just the two of us, and we chose to move to a small retirement village in northern Canada. I did not find it hard to move, the house echoed with voices now far away, and it was time for us to go. We have been here now for three years, and I like the area and am happy to be here. My husband who is a young sixty-eight is content to fish and mess about in his work shop, and I am pleased he is finding his retirement rewarding.

    However, I am only fifty-nine years old and most of our new friends are, at the very least, fifteen years older than I am. It seems the phone only rings because someone is dying or is already dead. In an age when, God willing, I could live another forty years, I am beginning to wonder if this is the end, and I have been tempted to become depressed. However on reading the book of Job I am reminded that God always has a plan, and I just have to wait until He shows me the next stage. Maybe His plan is that I learn patience.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. When I was 10 years old, my best friend was run over by a speeding car. I will never forget the profound sense of loss and to the day I still think of her. We found out at school, she was a year above me and used to sit on the same chair as me in Science classes (obviously not at the same time). I can remember that we added an extra chair to the class and while I was at that school no one ever sat in her chair again. I went to her funeral but it all seemed so surreal. After that her family fell apart. Her mother, who had been suffering from cancer died only two months later and her father completely lost it after that. He was brought to a mental institution where he took his own life. Left was her older brother.
    I can not imagine what he must have felt like. He lost his entire family in the space of about six months. A former school teacher of mine took him in and later adopted him.
    I know that loss is a very personal thing and nothing can be compared to our innermost feelings while experiencing it but every so often I think of him and wonder if I could have coped.
    Jeannine

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  6. I guess the loss I feel the most at the moment is ...the loss of plans for the future....I know you'll understand why....gee I hope this doesn't sound too morbid! On a more positive note at least I've learnt what a valuable lesson "NEVER PUT OFF TILL TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY" is.
    Rx
    p.s. make sure you get pics of the window box or pots when they're planted for us to see

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  7. There we were, my senior year in high school and we were in the state playoffs for baseball. Another guy and I were locked in a pitchers duel: bottom of the seventh inning (last inning in high school), they were up, two outs and they had a runner on second base, score tied at 0-0. So far there had been a total of 4 hits by both teams, 22 strikeouts and no walks.

    I made the pitch and the batter hit a routine ground ball to the shortstop. I headed over to back up first base and the shortstop underthrew the bag and ball squirted by the firstbaseman going all the way to the fence. The runner scored and we lost the game. I was crushed. A horrible way to end the season.

    Oh well, I got over it. LOL!

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  8. I have suffered many losses in my life as well, the first coming when my mother committed suicide, unable to cope with my father's physical and emotional abuse. It's difficult to remember exactly what I felt at age 13, because I had so many feelings, many of them conflicting. I felt anger at both parents, shame at the manner of her death, disbelief, and self-loathing, because I felt that it was somehow my fault.

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  9. Hi Claire

    I personally think that closure is one of the most difficult aspects of our lives.

    Having lost my father and sister within five years of each other, I am still not sure whether i have come to terms with it. My father died of natural causes at the young age of 61 and I remember feeling that I had lost so much of the future that I wanted to spend with him. My sister was killed at 39, and it took a long time to address the anger and hurt.

    Even twenty years on, in the words of the song "the miss you nights are the longest."

    the Brit

    PS: I responded to your comments regarding Helium

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  10. No worries mags its a great blog!
    Clairex

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  11. Thanks Rose, i know this a personal one so if want to comment please do, if not i understand.
    Clairex

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  12. Hey vic a great post and wonderfully written. Endings are good and bad, i think you have highlighted that in your comment.
    I am hoping that you do have 40 years left! and that you fight off becoming depressed, who knows whats around the next corner.
    Clairex

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  13. Hi jeanine a very sad ending, but how wonderful that the teacher took him in.
    I really appreciate the comment.
    Clairex

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  14. Ruth not morbid at all! i know how you feel sort of, hopefully when i post my answers you will see that!
    I will indeed post photos i=of the garden challenge outcome.
    Clairex

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  15. Hey Gene, I cant share in this sports ending really because i am so un sporty! but the fish you caught should make up for it!
    Clairex

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  16. Hey tomcat, what can i say? not much really to ease that sort of pain. Except i am sure your mum would be proud of how you have turned out(source: comments you have left here and the results of johari window). And your dad, cant post what should happen to him!
    Thanks for this.
    Clairex

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  17. Hi Brit,
    Your right closure is a very difficult thing, and i am not sure we ever really get over certain things.
    Hopefully there are some good memories that we can hang onto.
    Thanks for this!
    Clairex

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  18. Thanks, Clair. My dad died of a heart attack three years later, but his memory continued to push my buttons until I was well into my forties.

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  19. I am glad the buttons are not being pushed now!
    Clairex

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  20. Endings...

    Whew...I have MORE THAN ENOUGH material to post here, but I won't. What kind of counselor cries while doing homework?? :)

    Seriously, this is a great assignment. When you terminate with your first client, you'll realize how difficult the process can be. So, it's imperative that you examine how well you've dealt with previous losses/relationships.

    I have found terminations to be very difficult--whether professional or personal. I have discovered that I feel more comfortable when I know I've given my very best during the course of the relationship.

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  21. Thanks counselor! its something we have talked a bit about in class, not much though. our tutor expressed how hard she personally finds it.
    Clairex

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  22. What the caterpillar calls the end, the Master calls a butterfly.".... Richard Bach (I think)

    What a lovely blog this is Claire. Looking forward to exploring soon!

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  23. Thanks Nick, love the quote! i have to collect metaphors so feel free to contribute more of them.
    Get exploring.
    Clairex

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