Today's lesson started with a Personal Development group (PD), because of the nature of last lesson's ending (Oct 22nd). So firstly it was a review of group dynamics and then an opportunity to talk about how the last lesson had ended.
(click if you want to see it biggish)
I am doing the October 22nd notes in two parts, as the second part on grief is probably going to be way long. Well actually no probably about it, it will be way long, but with pictures! phew.
Personal Journal entry for October 22nd.
Today I got a chance to react to what was said in Mondays lesson (Oct 20th). Some of the group were missing, so it was good and bad. It was good in the sense that it wasn't as intense, but bad because the rest of the group would have to be filled in anyways at some point. Everyone got to say their piece, but I was still angry and upset, so I just stated how I was feeling and left it at that. I did not feel any better, as I did not get the clarification that I wanted.
Where am I at emotionally now? Still feel upset by it all. On one hand its much much better to sort these grievances out, but on the other hand I want to bury my head in the sand and just hope it goes away. Also will the other people in the group trust me, even though I haven't done anything wrong. In my head I know that this is not even about me, but in my heart I feel hurt. I hate being so emotional about this, I never cry and yet I have two lessons in a row now!
Going through the group development model, does put some things in perspective and I can see the benefits of working through this "storming " process, as it will make the group as a whole better.
I think the October break is well needed, a week off to reflect.
(Yes I know its November, I am playing catch up).