18 Dec 2009

Music and snogging your hand off

Tis the season and all that bollocks.... You know what I mean, have one too many sherbets, feeling a bit tiddly, drag someone into a cupboard, all in the spirit of Christmas or some such flimflam. A lot of snogging going on all around.

So what is this phenomena called 'Snogging'
snog is a kiss, usually romantic or sexual in nature, in which one participant's tongue touches the other's tongue and usually enters his or her mouth.
Just in case you don't know how and you need a visual demonstration, I have provided you with a link to a handy snogging tutorial - Click HERE 
If you have no actual human being to practice on, then why not use your hand? (WHY!!!). The most disturbing and the only 'hand' snogging video thing I have ever* seen is HERE . It is funny, but how did they get the bloke to do it?

*With the exception of Craig Charles in Red Dwarf episode, couldn't remember which one. Bonus points for anyone that does?

Other words for snogging
Tonsil Hockey, Making Out, French Kissing, Smooching, having a pash, necking, Sucking face, getting off with, meeting, Kissing, eating someone's face off. 

Snogging Inspiration
Where did I get the inspiration for a post like this? As I am pure of mind, I am unfortunately easily influenced by those that are not so pure.. Honest to cod, I had to type this whilst blushing and throwing holy water on myself.....
  Several people I have met through blogging have turned me onto some great music,before blogging I only listened to hymns and Ronan Keating (not really). Once you start delving into music, listening to whole albums (totally new concept for me), the thirst for new stuff is insatiable. Luckily Twitter once again stepped in and provided new musical fodder for me. The majority of which comes in the delightful form of TartyTart and not so delightful Drunk Country. Tarty write this blog and Drunk Country writes this one , which goes with the show he does on woxy. They not only provide magical musical titbits, but also make music accessible to people that are pretty clueless about music (me), oh and they are amusing.
  I was lucky enough to get this wonderful mix straight to my inbox from TartyTart, which sounds like a computer related double entrende (it is). This led to an amusing discussion about naughtiness and slang, so I sent her to this post 'Claire gets Horny'. After listening to the more than good mix-tape, I thought about snogging and writing this post.
  You really need to listen to the tunes on the mix, read the post and have your mind corrupted ever so slightly. I had to stop reading it myself several times, bathe in holy water and then start all over again. I was exhausted by the time I eventually finished.. the article.
The mix is found over on Slowcoustic - How 2009 can still make you weak at your knees. Only just discovered slowcoustic recently myself, thanks to tarty, looks fantastic, they are also on twitter @slowcoustic.

Disclaimer: I am not to be  held responsible if your pants melt off whilst listening to the mix.

I have noticed that Music related posts do not get many comments, why is this? I don't mean just on my blog, I mean on music blogs as a whole. Is it because musical listening is a personal thing and it is hard to sum up in words what music does to your listening orifices? Hopefully this post has enough sexual innuendo and buffoonery to allow everyone to jump in, even if talking about music makes you run for the hills......

So question time....
1.What word do you use for snogging?
2.What song is your favourite snogging tune?


  1. Oh. My. God. To think that Drunk Country has corrupted yet another young lass, it just shakes me to my core, I tell you.

    Well, darling, you know you can always find comfort in the Tart when he's being his usual nasty self. And I'm so very flattered that you like my mix. Your box is open to more, is it then? ;) xoxo (that's hugs AND kisses for you)

  2. Oh. Jesus. Wept. I did never touch her not today not never.

  3. 1. Munching
    2. I'm easy (errrrr... lemme re-phrase that... makes no difference to me)

  4. 1. Necking
    2. You and I, by Will Young.

    (Can I apologise for SUCH a dull response. I considered deleting it and remaining insignificant. Maybe I should.)

  5. Shmooshing!
    Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye

  6. Cold Desert by the Kings of Leon ... 'hand over your heart, let's go home'....

    Loving your blog, as always.

  7. Claire, I must say your new profile picture is hot! But to answer these questions, my generation in the US calls it making out and french kissing. And I guess Madonna's (she's British now isn't she?) Crazy For You is a pretty good song, right?

  8. @Tart, He abused the fact that I was a musical noob, he is like the Pied Piper of Hamlin playing a merry tune, luring in poor innocent girls like myself.

    My box is definitely waiting for more

    /gets more holy water ready


    @Drunk Country, You did so! With your music (ahahaha)

    @Lois - Erm munching would be considered something a little ruder here, not that I would actually know what.... hehe

    After the munching answer I can see how easy you are............ lol

    @Jaffa, Not a dull answer at all! The fact that I got answers is cool enough for me. Although I do actually detest Will Young, but you would prolly hate some of my musical taste :)

    @Joni, Ohhhh I like the sound of smooshing and Marvin Gaye is the stuff of legends :)

    @Helen, What a superb choice, I adore Kings of Leon, even if the radio stations decided to play 'Sex on Fire' to death, I still love hearing it.

    I highly recommend J Tillman to you, think you would love him.

    Thanks for reading, means a lot :)

    @Beer Drinker! Hey Beer! Where the heck have you been? I got some Speckled Hen beer in for xmas and was thinking of reviewing for you?

    The avatar/profile pic on BC do you mean?

    Urghh you can keep Madonna, but it is a pretty good song. Time for an update I think though, have a listen to the mix and see what works with the Mrs Beer :)

  9. Snogging-never heard the word before but the practice is familiar. Although after watching the video (yes, I couldn't resist) I realize my technique needs a little brushing up.

  10. Having retired from a long career of snogging and what snogging leads to, I'm happy to hear that the delightful practice continues and that tutorials are provided by the generous. For romantic songs, one of the favorites is an oldie Speak Low

    Speak low when you speak, love
    Our summer day withers away too soon, too soon
    Speak low when you speak, love
    Our moment is swift, like ships adrift, we're swept apart, too soon
    Speak low, darling, speak low
    Love is a spark, lost in the dark too soon, too soon
    I feel wherever I go that tomorrow is near, tomorrow is here and always too soon
    Time is so old and love so brief
    Love is pure gold and time a thief
    We're late, darling, we're late
    The curtain descends, ev'rything ends too soon, too soon
    I wait, darling, I wait
    Will you speak low to me, speak love to me and soon

  11. oh. your post in really enjoyable and funny. it didnt make me bored, and this topic really made my day. makes me want to go smooching. hahaha. my song for snogging: I love you, goodbye.

  12. Claire, honey, you're too young, and I'm afraid you'd laugh at "our song..." It's just too schmaltzy. Making out was a little bit more than just frenching. But even at my age, we "sill get it on."
    Love ya!

  13. You want lovely quotesNcommentsNdirt, eh? You won't find it on moi, aussi, earthling. You'll find IT in the Great Beyond. God blessa youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL

  14. Happy Boxing Day. Hope you got lots of goodies from Father Christmas.

  15. This is a great blog you have here. I have a humor blog as well which I hope will bring laughter to people around the world. Life is hard enough. I was wondering if we could do a link exchange. Please let me know if this is possible.

    HilariousHeadlines TALK

  16. I absolutely love the design of your blog, where did you download it from or did you do it yourself?

  17. Thanks for the shout out!

    Anyone influenced by the likes of Tart and DC should be a quality specimen. Er, I am not sure specimen was the word I was groping for... wow, I think I am starting to sound like both of them! ;-)


  18. @Smansmith

    No problem! Really enjoying your blog :)

    Groping already? Not even been formally introduced!