I thought I better do a post in case you thought i had died or was still drunk, its not like I have spent most of the day sleeping (or is it).
I think most of you have guessed that I can be a little feisty at times and its generally not a good idea to piss me off (so don't!). I am equally balanced out with a good dollop of dorkiness, remember I took a test to prove it Results of dork test.
So where I am going with this? Ah yes, drinking,dorky and feisty. This is not a good combination all the time, the feisty part does come in handy when i am cock blocking for my friends. I have no problem with getting rid of idiots by whispering (FUCK OFF) in their shell likes. That is only to blokes that are being really gross, I am not a total bitch.
When it comes to saving myself from scary blokes my inner dork takes over, i don't start crazy dancing, I try to avoid eye contact by looking at my watch, phone, or downing my drink. On this particular night my eye contact avoidance tactics failed me miserably! I was locked in eye contact with a massive bloke that was literally doing the truffle shuffle towards me , hands on enormous belly getting nearer and nearer. You must realise that I was rather drunk so this is rather exaggerated in my mind. What could I do? there was no escape, I manically twirled my straw around and around in my drink before taking a sip. Unfortunately I was a bit panicked and stabbed myself in the eye with my straw.
Luckily I was not permanently damaged, but it was enough of a shock to wake me up a bit and get out of the truffle shuffle path!
Who knows how bad it could of been.
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Your poor straw. I hope it's okay.
ReplyDeleteMy oh my, the truffle shuffle had me in tears Clare.... are you a human condom ??? lol
ReplyDeleteI always feel as though I need a dictionary handy to read these posts.
ReplyDeleteGlad, however, that you emerged from your revels relatively unscathed.
So I guess a stab in the eye with a straw is similar to what we in America call a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Ouch!
ReplyDeletehmmph thanks for concern .45! Are you mean truffle shuffler? :)
ReplyDeleteumbrella ha! I do believe you are on the vodka again and I will be forced to tell the world your umbrella as a contraceptive story!
Curmy is there anything you would like me to translate?
Linda aren't you pleased that I am staying with you now :)
"Are you mean truffle shuffler?"
ReplyDeleteThe truffles I shuffle are a touch lower, but I could see how they'd make you poke your eye. ;)
.45 you have a way with words :)
ReplyDeleteNow why arent there blokes like you out when I am.
If you think that's something, you should see what I can do with cherry lube.
ReplyDelete.45 if you were attempting to make me blush, you have succeeded :)
ReplyDeleteI love cherry.
when he was truffle-shuffling at you did he say, "I want some babyback, babyback, babyback ribs!"
ReplyDelete???
Everyone loves cherry.
ReplyDeleteMo, I would of stabbed myself in both eyes and maybe cried! but no i dont recall him doing that unless i have just forced myself to forget it.
ReplyDelete.45 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :)
LOL it's never good to get trapped into eye contact... bleh, it sends all kinds of messages and none of them good!! And he had his hands on his belly?? Haha, who does that? This brings back memories.
ReplyDelete/cringe
@ Jillian, thanks for hopping over :)
ReplyDeleteYep he had his hands on his belly and was lifting it up and down at me menacingly! it could of eaten me! I tend to attract all the special kind of people and I am not even wearing a tin foil hat :(
ACK! That guy sounds scarey! Wasn't Willy around to defend you???
ReplyDelete@Olga Willy wasn't around then! heh
ReplyDelete