9 Jul 2008

Catching crabs with Olga

Yesterday was one of those manic cleaning days, where a simple tidy up turns into a full scale war against the build up of crap. I was also bit by some winged evil beast the night before and had two massive swollen areas (on my leg). This meant I slept horribly and was in a grumpy mood.
So whilst I was in cupboards, up in the loft, polishing pigs, demolishing wardrobes, what on earth was Olga up to? I have found out she gets bored easily, she doesn't like watching telly for very long and starts demanding cocktails at a ridicluosly early hour. So during a well earned rest, I noticed she had disappeared upstairs with the two Willy's (remember one is evil).
It turns out they decided to play a lethal game of Catch the Crabs! Yes those little pink things are crabs (not chickens). Unfortunately Olga and Willy had no idea what Evil Willy had planned for both of them.

Evil Willy: Let's play a game.... The winner gets... Olga.

Willy: Okay I have caught crabs before (this one time at the beach)

Willy: Oh noes!

Willy: 'Holy shit!'

Willy: 'Evil Willy is trying pull some hoo doo voodoo shit on me.'

Willy: 'Help someone.......'

What is going to happen next? 
Will Olga ever sober up in time?


  1. Seriously, I never thought of crabs. They totally look like chickens.

    Olga should know better than to leave her drink unattended ... especially with that mustached dude around. Hasn't she watched any movies? Mustache = Bad Guy.

  2. Why were you polishing pigs?!? Who does THAT? Are you crazy? And where do you keep the good wine?!?

  3. Oh my...the willies seem to have "crossed swords" battling for olga.

    What in heavens name is that contraption willy is in? :)

  4. I forgot to ask, but what's evil willy mean ... for the pot? This is just like Coronation Street, I need subtitles.

  5. Doesn't Willy have a pair? Why doesn't he fight for that drunken trolip...uhh I mean sweet inocent Olga whom evil Willy has clearly sliped a micky to.

  6. Drowsey's right! Well, about the mustache (not the chickens!)...I have posted MY version of this riveting story over on my blog!

    And Truckindog is also right! About the sweet innocent part. Now where did you say you kept the good wine, Claire? ;)

  7. OMG - as I said on Olga's blog, I'm an idiot! I know there's no need for an announcement, as it's so obvious ... but I understand the thing about the pot now, HAHA!

    I'm like your "special" blogger who drops by and needs assistance.

  8. I know! I know!


    Just as Evil Willy is about to prick Willy with a pin, Olga staggers in thinking she's in the loo. Evil Willy slips on the result and falls head first onto the candle and dies a slow and horrible death.

    Willy manages to pull himself into an erect position at which point Olga stumbles and is last seen clinging onto the edge of the mantle shelf by her straps ....... [more next week]

  9. Well, dearie, I think you have created something wonderfulific with your new site! Love the legs with the moss patches. Nair may help that, you know....Did you do your own design? It really is extremely creative!
    p.s. Tell the mum I said "hello" and am thinking about her...

  10. Great. Now what am I supposed to do with this RAZOR DaddyP?!?

  11. OMG ... if I had known Evil Willy would have been so evil (and his nose is big particularly in candle light) I would have kept a closer eye on the cloning dust that happened in Liverpool at the weekend .... your handbag was that big he did have ample room to grow (hence the nose I suspect)

    God I am rambling .... can't wait for the next exciting episode .... have a great day

  12. Ok, now I get why there are two Willys. I am just used to your picture posts, I guess. Not used to having to read and think (a bad combination for me.)

    You may be sure the Willy clones will get some ink shortly, you know where. (Although a clone would probably look identical, some might say. But who's keeping track, right?)

    How is Claire today?

  13. I came here thru Roger's Idaho Daily and thru Mo's (doodle post)
    OMG this is the funniest blog I've seen in a while! I just love it!!!


  14. lmao Claire this is one of your best.

  15. Why in the heck didn't you come see me if you were in such a cleaning frenzy?!?!
    I have been far from it for the last few...errr...ummm...MONTHS! *sigh*

    Some day, maybe I will find normal again, but I doubt it. *LOL*

  16. @Drowsey, Remind me never to eat chicken in Canada :)

    Olga told me that the Blog mistress watches some films and in them the moustache guy has all the fun! I was shocked!

    @Olga, they were of the ceramic,brass and fluff kind of which the mum has many. I don't like wine, so tough.

    @kdawg, They were playing a fishing game, Willy lost and now Evil Willy has put him in a cauldron is attempting to boil him alive! Willy doesn't like it too hot.

    @Drowsey, For the pot, is like when your making a casserole and everything goes in the pot :)

    @Trukindog, Well seeing as Willy is Non sexual maybe he doesn't have a pair? Olga sweet and innocent?

    @Olga, come on now, tell the truth! I heard you shout 'I want a moustache ride!'.

    @Drowsey, Seeing your thought process unravel is probably the funniest thing I have read for a long time :)

    @Daddy P, that is bloody good, but its not right! although I reserve the right to steal it if my theory doesn't turn out right! haha :)

    @A Gracie, Chica my blog chum did it all, she is a genius :) Your right though, I do need nair :)

    The mum said hello back :)

    @Olga, put the razor down and back away......

    @70steens, For all I know you may of bewitched Willy and that is the reason why Evil Willy is in fact evil! Who mentioned dust? It was you, I know it!

    @Daisy, What about Willy!

    @Relax Max, He is not identical because he is EVIL! it makes your nose get bigger.

    Claire is well today, but two Willy's and Olga knackers you right out.

    @Odat, You have been here before, long long ago :) It looked different then :)

    @Regretting Pants, Why thank you kind sir (by kind sir I mean horny sex pest).

    @Crazy Working Mom, pay for the flights and I will head your way duster in hand :P

  17. You weren't supposed to hear that........

  18. Oh my god-- the glow of the candle in that photo had me laughing out loud. The girl in the next office will be wondering what's wrong with me. (Well, more than usual.) You have outdone yourself this time, Claire.

    Mad as a hatter, I say. (A hatter wearing a black bra and with two Willys. -- Or one willy with a personality disorder.) I'm not sure which.

  19. @Daddy P, are you trying to make me feel bad?

    @Olga, speak quietly then :)

    @Mo, heh! cleaning pig ornaments is that better?

    @ThriftShopRomantic, Just imagine me setting this up in my room and trying to photograph it, that should be even funnier :)

    Yep I am definitely mad, wait till you see the next one.

  20. did I mention 'the dust'? ... mm you can't pin it on me how Evil Willy behaves ;-)

  21. That's the hottest willy post I've ever seen.

  22. Screw the wine!!! *hic* I found some delishush ale! *hic!* How 'bout a mushtash ride?!...weeeeee!!! Ooops!....shhhhh!!!*hic*

  23. LMAO! Evil Willy has made my day. I can now go to bed with mirth in my heart.

    Evil Willy, you're my hero!


  24. @70steens, I always blame the last owner :) I mean erm...........

    @Qelqoth, and it just keeps getting hotter :) I need tentacles though :)

    @Olga, that was bleach! for fucks sake!

    @Dale, You do know I am going to quote you on that :)