20 Oct 2008

College Notes for today (October 13th)

I am doing a bloody awful job at keeping up with my notes! Prepare to be flooded with nonsensical rubbish pouring from my brain. It will one day go to good use, I am sure (she bloody hopes).

 The Anger Habit
Back on September 29th I posted my notes, that introduced the topic of Anger
In today's lesson we worked in groups and compiled a list of solutions that we personally have used to combat anger.
 Expanding on those ideas in the diagram above:
Also with this question in mind:
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
 Meditation, using the dreaded words 'chill out' and 'Deep Breathing'. I am not for on minute suggesting that you just count to ten and relax, unless that just happens to work for you Take some time in the day that works best for you, whether that's morning or night. Listen to some relaxing music and practice deep breathing.
Example = Breathe in courage, Breathe out Fear.
Writing, in the diagram I wrote 'write a letter', writing an angry letter, that you never intend to post, is a great release of anger and it doesn't hurt anyone. Its just another way of expressing yourself creatively.
Exercise, this is challenging the anger into a sociably acceptable activity. Walking, hiking.jogging, swimming, skipping etc. There is also Boxing, punching a pillow, but is that always a healthy releases of anger?

Some negative ways of coping with anger, Drinking, Taking Drugs and Eating. Those three things are like forms of self medication and it can make things worse, possibly more angry.
Related Links: Model for Solving a Relationship Problem Skills Assessment. 
Recommended reading: Human Relationship Skills by Richard Nelson-Jones, ISBN 0415385873.

Personal Journal
If this weeks Personal Development group caused this doodle you know it must of been an intense one!
With my birthday and mum in hospital, plus intensity of the 'circle of doom', I am afraid that caused a brain meltdown , which resulted in me blubbing (crying). I am not a crier, not that there is anything wrong with crying, my defence mechanisms just don't allow for it very often. These personal development sessions are very intense and often feel uncomfortable. That doesn't mean I don't get a lot out of it, because I really do. Its opening up my eyes to what emotional investment I will be asking of my future clients. If I think this is painful then they will be feeling it tenfold. I admitted what some of my defence mechanisms are, which I simultaneously regretted and felt happy about. Once you make people aware of why you do things they may understand you better, but they also wont let you get away with things at the same time.

The next college notes post will be on grief and grief counselling.


  1. Aw, Claire, I'm sorry to hear it's been so rough. Email me if you just feel like venting-- I don't mind. Sometimes even you counselor-type people need an ear.

  2. I didn't see in the 'Anger Management' diagram the option to punch someone in the face.

  3. I do like the anger solutions. None of those have ever occurred to me. I am honestly going to try them. After the punching and pounding, I mean. And DO email Jean if you feel like venting...

    I hope it works out for you. It sounds terribly hard right now. How do they expect you to keep up with the doodles?

  4. Anger scares people and they want you not to be angry, but there are times when we have a right to be angry. It's what we do with it right?

    I know when I have been angry about something (and with good reason) I found it distressing my anger being invalidated by being told I needed help, or doing things to distract from it rather than acknowledging it and helping me find ways to deal with those who caused the anger.

    ps. hope your mum is okay, sounds like you have had a roller coaster week.

  5. Oh wow...I need help with anger. I have lots, want some?

    I appreciate your personal notes. It's not easy doing what you're doing ... it does take an emotional toll. I admire what you're doing. :)

  6. Very interesting notes. I can't relate to the anger issue because I've always managed to be a rather relaxed, mellow type of person(some might say a procrastinator)...LOL

    But I can relate to expressing points of views and voicing stressful issues, either via a neutral, trusting friend or , to the local newspaper's opinions/commentary section if the matter warrants it...

    I do hope things ease up for you with your stress, at least that it gets down to 1/4 of a tank to Empty... ;-)

    Big Bear HUG to ya!! (((Claire)))

  7. Yikes, I sure don't miss college and all the notes. You are doing great... keep it up.

  8. Hold in there.
    That's an important realization about emotional investment, though I doubt you're feeling a merely tenth of what any client would. Still, it's always easier to deal with other people's problems than ones own--hell, people tell me I give them great relationship advice when I can't maintain relationships of my own worth crap....
    Anyway, like I said, hold in there.....

  9. Yoga mentioned "I doubt you're feeling a merely tenth of what any client would".

    I don't think that's fair. People with anger control management problems usually have a problem not just with expression and inappropriate behavior...the majority have problems with perception due to chemical imbalances.

    Everyone feels. I just don't think you feel any less than anyone else.

    Just felt someone needed to say that.

  10. Thanks everyone that has commented, I guess its coming across that I have had a tough few weeks.

    @Jenn thanks for the offer! Counsellors do need counselling indeed and I really appreciate it.

    @Jean-Luc, whilst that make you feel better temporarily, I doubt it would in the long run, Yo know after the prison time..

    @JafaBrit's, You were totally right to pick up on that. I should of made it more clear about healthy and unhealthy anger. These are only my crappy notes, with pretty diagrams. I am really glad you brought up that point though. :)

    @Drowsey, Aww thanks dude :)

    @Erik, Yes I have read your blog, lol. Thanks for the thoughts.

    @Star, I love it honestly, but its hard work!

    @Yogic Wonder, I have always tended to play down my emotional investment, so this is new territory for me. It may feel horrible in that moment, but I know its worth it.

    @John, Yogi was just repeating my own words back to me, with a more positive spin. These are just my notes on anger management, that I would use with a client. I don't have an anger problem. Have I been confusing? I hope not! Oh crap.

  11. am totally using this blog as part of my therapy! xxxxoooo