1 Feb 2009

Action stations, action stations!

When you live with someone who has a long history if illness, I think you react in a totally different way from the norm, when incidents/accidents occur. If it was a rare occurrence, say someone tripped and broke a leg, panic can set in and you can run round like a headless chuck. Although the mumborg is physically disabled, there is a BIG difference between that and actually being ill, if you know what I mean? Just because your disabled doesn't mean you are actually ill. So the mumborg is a lot of the time vulnerable/ill as well as having physical disabilities. When she is less ill, her being disabled doesn't stop her doing anything. When she is in tip top condition, she doesn't even listen to me, the cheeky bugger.
Lately she has been doing well, the bionic hip and leg, have been playing nicely together and she can actually walk around the house a lot better (with walking thingamabob). She still has to rely on electric wheelchair or scooter when playing outside, seriously if you see her jump out of the way (demonic force on wheels).

Wondering why I am writing this now? The mumborg dislocated bionic hip from bionic socket on the bionic leg. She then managed to relocate it herself. So the following questions and statements, fell out of my mouth whilst trying to ascertain the seriousness of the matter.
1. Oh for fucks sake.
2. Can you relocate it yourself?
3. You calling the ambulance or should I?
4. Stupid woman.
5. Out of ten how is the pain?
6. Just answer me woman.
7. No that is not an acceptable level of pain (lots of muttering under breath).
8. Your a pain in the arse.
9. What can I get for you?
10. Oh joy.
11. I will go to sleep when you go to sleep, got it? good.
12. Great! (heavy sarcasm).
13. Yes I am still awake, what am I? A bloody ghostly apparition?

I don't flap about, I don't cry and to be totally honest in that moment I don't think that much. Its all hands to the deck, get things sorted, chop chop chop. When things quiet down, that is when the negative thoughts seep in. Like 'why this again', 'how long in hospital this time', 'will something bad happen if I fall asleep?', not pleasant thoughts I know. They are quickly shrugged off, as I make the millionth cup of tea and mess around on the computer, with both ears listening out for anything. There is really no point even pretending to go to bed, because there is no way I would fall asleep. So I wait till the morning hours, checking in frequently, fetching water, making her comfortable etc. Until someone else takes over and then I sleep properly, which doesn't really happen either. The truth of the matter is, when mumborg is ill, I can only sleep when she in hospital. That way I know she is constantly getting checked on. Also the fact that there are doctors and nurses about, does ease my mind.
Current mumborg status: Although bionic hip and bionic leg are cooperating there seems to be a nerve/tendon malfunction. So the mumborg will have to shipped back to sender and have a patch up. She shouldn't need an upgrade, if there was even a upgrade invented that she hasn't already had. It turns out she didn't want to go into hospital this weekend, as she knows nothing much would get done on a weekend. Also as she had a bit of a stomach bug, she was waiting for that to clear, so they couldn't moan about that when admitting her.

So off she will go tomorrow. I will not be accompanying her because I now have that stomach bug. Holy ring of hell, that's all I am saying on that matter.
Will update when I know more.
The mumborg story in doodles


  1. All the best to the Mumborg. If she gets an upgrade will she be Mumborg 2.0, or is it just a minor change making her Mumborg 1.1?

  2. I love your bedside manner!

  3. I'm sorry your mum is unwell and that it causes so much stress for you. Get better and try not to worry so much that your eyeballs fall out of yer head!! ;)

  4. Hope things get better soon!

  5. I hope this turns out well too. Keep the faith.

  6. I hope that Mumborg & you are both better soon!

  7. I'm sending good thoughts your way for the Mumborg AND you, Claire!

  8. When mumborg comes home will that have her equipped with a detect and irradicate snarky commenters or do I need to put up defenses to keep from being assimilated?

    Take care of yourself and hang on to that sense of humor.

  9. Hi Claire, all the best for the mumborg and upgrade. Action stations is good, but remember to de-brief yourself in between...

  10. I love your blog and how you love the Mumborg (who must be very proud of you). Keep on with your colleging - the world needs more people like you.