The rage overwhelms me as the drilling begins once again, my fists clench and fingernails stick into my palms, my whole body seizes up with the tension and my head feels like it is trapped in a vice.
I turn the music louder and louder, but the insidious sound of the drill oozes through the walls and straight into my already addled mind.
It stops, I breathe in the silence.
Then it all starts again.
I step away from the computer, abandoning my work once more, how can one type let alone think when all I can see is the red mist of anger in front of me.
I feel sick, I pace around.
I sit in the bathroom, its quiet there and cry out of frustration. I shake myself out of it, none of that malarkey.
I attempt to do other things, household chores that need doing, but could be left. I should be doing work. I NEED to be doing work!
They are not doing on it purpose, I reassure myself, trying to feel a sense of calm.
But how can they not know this is driving me to distraction! The less rational I yells to myself, the wall, the whatever and the vice tightens again.
You should have gone the library, rational me says.
Fuck you! Why should I move all my stuff to the library, this is my house!
Why put yourself through this, you know the building work is going to continue?
I guess I will go the library tomorrow?
Good, no excuses.
What if it rains?
You do know that this anger is more at yourself, than the building work? Stress is a killer, you know that?
Piss off! (I know)
Mood enhanced/encouraged by this track : Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
Tip for the day:
Feeling stressed, angry or upset (or all)? Then write it down, talk to someone (other than yourself), do a piece of artwork, go for a walk, listen to some relaxing music. It really does help, it is better out than in, someone said.
Okay "Its better out than in' normally refers to when someone farts, but consider a shitty mood like a malingering build up of noxious gas, much better out! Well for you anyway.