29 Jun 2008

I am going to confuse the pants off you

After I described the weather as pants in the post below, it was brought to my attention that some folk didn't know what I meant. I forget that those across the pond and further afield are not familiar with the finer nuances of the Queens English. Especially some of the ones that we use in my neck of the woods. There are in fact many uses of the word 'pants' and I shall have a whirl at confusing the pants off you now.
Starting with confusing the pants off you, this means you are getting you so confused that you feel like you are losing your mind or at least your undergarments. Lets see how you feel after reading this post, I bet I have lost some of you already. Don't worry I have this effect on a lot of people.

Welcome to the many uses of the word pants!

Pants =Knickers:
Undergarment of the female type.
This can be used in the following ways;
"I will be charming the pants off her by the end of the night."
"I want to get into her pants."
(that could have been rude and/or said by a cross dresser.)

Pants = Pulling Pants :
A unisex term used for special undergarments that have pulling power.
This can be used in the following ways;
"Watch out world! I am wearing my pulling pants."
Instead of 'world', you could use ladies,girls, men or sheep.
(pulling power = increased sexual attraction like qualities).

Pants = Trousers, male or female:
A garment of the unisex variety.
This can be used in the following way;
"What are you wearing tonight?" "Hmm maybe black pants and a nice top."

Pants = Underpants, male:Undergarment of the male type.
This can be used in the following ways;
"Phwoar I would love to get into his pants!"
"Oh my god he papped his pants."
"He was so excited, he messed his pants."

Pants = Used as a form of exasperation:
Used instead of it's rubbish,crap,shit,boring,nonsense or bad.
Its a nice word to use when your in front of children and can't let rip with the bad words.
This can be used in the following ways;
"That match was pants!"
"That movie was pants!"
or like in the post below
"The weather is pants!"

Pants= Nasty
I can't believe I left out nasty pants!
Someone with a bad attitude.
This can be used in the following ways;
"Oh my gosh you're such a nasty pants!"

This is the second time I have had to edit this post to add another use of the word pants.
Fancy Pants, this is a form of showing off.
This can be used in the following way:
"Oh get you, Fancy pants! in that new car"

Another shameful omission!
Brought to my attention by a Smarty Pants.
Smarty Pants, this is someone who loves showing off their intelligence in an annoying way.
(also known as a smart arse).
This can be used in the following way:
"I missed that out on purpose, Smarty Pants!"

This post was brought to you by pants!?!

Mark called me an idiot or was that idiomatic, I am not sure whether I should be insulted?
Anyhoo he linked to this post here: Idioms: Pants


  1. //Have you been able to watch any?//

    No, but I was listening online to 6 Music yesterday and they were interviewing some bands and listened to the beginning of the Adam and Joe replay.

    Thanks Max, I think. If it were only that easy... I've only just learned pants from my ex-Wigan mate who is now in the south. I know I get flack from my fellow Americans when I go over the top with it, which I try to refrain from in most conversations with Americans. It's like this unwritten rule when Brits come over here, that they have to tone down their Britishness somewhat. Personally I think it's a pity and a shame but boo-hoo, right.

  2. Pants as a form of exasperation for your use of pants... well, that about sums it up!

  3. I thought you meant it was too cold to garden ... because you'd have to wear pants. When you'd rather wear shorts ... or something other than pants. LOL

    Lost in translation!

    Nice doodle tho ... HA!

  4. I "love" the word pants used as an exasperation as much as I like to word "word" used for agreement purposes. Totally doesn't make sense. Next it will be bra. The weather is bra! Or that man was sock! lmao. :D

  5. So in the UK you could just substitute the word pants for anything at all. Here's looking at your pants!

  6. I've always liked the expression 'under crackers' - a lot of people think that it's pants though - which it is of course. [Note to self - don't forget to go to the Post Office today]

  7. Of course pants also means to breathe heavily, as in: the pants-wearer pants at the thought of Claire's pants.

  8. So do they still say "getting yer knickers in a twist" or " she's all fur coat and ne knickers"?

    opps I see I am wearing my arts council hat.
    This is jafabrit :)

  9. The headline for your first entry assumes that North Americans know the term "knickers" too. That was another one I had to get used to.

    I shall be linking this to my language blog. About time I had something the Queen would approve of. I hope you do more of these too. There was that naughtier one you did on another blog, but I forget the link. Care to share it here again?

  10. I'm liking Chica's (above) recommendation for "sock." Just think how you could confuse your locals by saying, "Wow, the weather is really sock today."

    Your post was funny though and not at all pants.

  11. Ha! ha! Ha! I enjoyed this post. I had no idea that the word "pants" could be and was used elsewhere in so many ways. :D

  12. Ok, most of it is cleared up now. But pulling pants? I'm not sure what they are, but I'm pretty sure I desperately need them.

  13. @redbeard76, I forgot to leave the link to BBC Radio 1, have a look if you haven't already. I think your doing rather well with your britspeak and you should ignore your chums :) I shall not be toning down at all and hope to confuse a lot of people :)

    @Mo, that comment was pants! heh:)

    @Drowsey, I will always be wearing pants in the garden, heh! Its just the start of some doodle nudity.

    @Chica, what a load of sock! ahahaha, I love it.

    @Laura, You talk a load of pants :)

    @daddy papersurfer, I love under crackers too, unless they are crusty ones. Yes you must go to the post office!

    @Mark, I may have to include that description, but having never seen me in pants it may be fibbing :)

    @jafabrit, we do indeed still say them, well I can't speak for the whole of England but I certainly use them still :)

    @Mark, You don't use knickers at all in North America?

    Thanks for linking to me, I hope you have put up an adequate disclaimer stating that this is just a nonsense post? Yep I will find that other link for you now.

    Its this Hornyand this Explaining Horny

    Oh and this Story with rude words.

    @Thrift Jenn, I am also loving 'sock' but it rhymes with something else that makes me laugh :)

    @timethief, glad you liked it, I could of written more pants stuff, but I just stuck to the essence of pants :)

    @da old man, Pulling pants are your very best undercrackers :)

  14. @Claire: I think people use knickers, they just don't call them by that. :p

  15. ooh .. didn't know there are so many meanings to it
    should watch my language

  16. @Mark, that's good to know :)

    Also I will be writing some more of these :)

    @allaboutattitude, I think we just like to confuse everyone :)

  17. Ah, Pants, my "must not give the children bad habits" swear word of choice. If I'm in a playful mood I use pantalon too.

  18. @thriftcriminal, Its a great swear word of choice :)

    Is it pantalon or pantaloon?

  19. You now have to explain to those over the pond what papped means! :)

  20. "Oh My God, he papped his pants"????

    Does papp mean poop over where you're at? And why is the Doodle Girl covering her kitty? Has kitty been bad?

    Hee hee.

  21. So what is the opposite of pants? Like, if something is great and wonderful is it called 'shorts' or 'skirt' ?

    I like using the term 'tits' to describe something as good, but I've had to scale that back a bit now that there is a baby crawling around. Don't want her first word to be tit.

  22. If you are currently self-imploding due to lots of college work, why the hell should I leave you a comment? You won't even read it. Sigh.

    I am already here. Why not.

    Yes, you have confused the pants off me, Claire. Here I stand pantless. I hope you won't try to doodle me. Although I suppose you are probably too turned on right now, just at the very thought, to think about drawing anything. Perhaps you should just run and get your camera.

    Yes, Claire, be sure and not change your manner of speaking while you are here. Especially on the subway. That'll be way cool. Don't forget your Taser.

    And Redbeard? I'm pretty sure you catch flack from your fellow Americans simply by being visible. It isn't your speech or spelling. Just sayin'...

  23. OK, you have charmed the pants off me. Now what?

  24. I'm not sure when you changed your template b/c I read you in reader-but it is SEXY! Very nice. :)

  25. Omg so many pantses... why must you torture me so xD

  26. When you used the word, "Phwoar", I think I got a tent in my pants.

  27. Oh yeah, the Stars and Stripes didn't hurt either. Please raise the flags!

    Also(and I'm sure Melissa would agree), your new layout is tits.

  28. Pants as a form of exasperation? WTF??? I've heard "there's a party in my pants!" but never "that party is pants!" Wow. That sounds weird. Like calling a fork "knife." It just doesn't compute.....

    Twat face, huh?? them's fight'n words..... (though it did make me laugh)

  29. YEH! You got the new theme bug too! I love the new look. The header is awesome and the color is great! Did you draw the header pic??

  30. @akelamalu, I think most of them have got it, if not it will make a great new post :)

    @kelly, it is a doodle interpretation of no pants, there will be no kitty on show!

    @Melissa, I will work on an opposite of pants post, in the meantime I shall use 'That's the tits'
    Baby saying that would be funny and wrong :)

    @relax max, I love getting comments, they brighten my day :)
    After reading this I ran, not necessarily for my camera or because I was turned on.

    @Dead Rooster, wow your easy, you slag :) You shall now be added to my minions of course :)

    @Mags, hey you just wrote what I wrote on yours, cheeky! Only changed it last night.

    @G, I am not torturing, I am educating :)

    @.45, phwoar at the tent usage :) No raising the flags, this is a respectable place. Thanks, as Melissa said 'it is the tits'.

    @petra, why are you going round telling people "there's a party in my pants!" , people are going to get the wrong idea about you.
    Heh you started the fighting talk!
    See above post for all things layout/template.

  31. I believe the complete saying is "there's a party in my pants. Wanna cum?" But we will let Max explain that one being as he stands pantless and all.....

  32. This is tits, I'm in a band called Opposite of Pants and I stumbled on this page by chance. After learning of the slang usage, i think we chose a good name! Check us out if you're so inclined and let us know if you agree.

  33. @Petra, I bet you get all the boys in your yard talking like that you filthy mare :)

    @John1985, 'This is tits'is not official British Slang yet but I am glad you are paying attention to my comments :)

    That is a rather good name for a band and I will hop over later to have a listen, only then can I decide if you really are the opposite of pants. If you get the Claire seal of approval I will link to your myspace profile and you can be the official pants post band :)

  34. At the risk of being a smarty pants, your nasty pants example contains an error. You wrote "your' instead of "you're." :p

    Thanks for letting me know about the updates.

  35. @misofreak, thanks for pointing it out, I have added it :)


    @Markypants, :p

  36. I don't want to lower the tone of the conversation but have you heard of the expression "Farty pants?"

    Self explanatory I feel.

    I've been using it for years. (Actually, I'm not sure whether I I invented it now. Oh well, dementia is obviously setting in early.)

  37. @Jane, yes I have indeed heard that expression and now I will have to add it!

  38. You guys really love your pants, don't you? LOL

    This made me crack up, thanks for sharing :)

  39. @PQ, Yep gotta love all things pants, unless they are in fact pants.


  40. Fantabulous work! Whilst I'm familiar with some of these uses of the word 'pants' (definitely the 'get into his/her pants' variety and others), the use of the word in lieu of swearing definitely didn't make the jump to this Brittish colony. Well, until now! :P