14 Jun 2008

The mum returns home as a cyborg.

The mum is returning home today, which is great, but unfortunately I think she is a cyborg out to kill me. How else do you explain this speedy exit from hospital? It was estimated that she would spend at least six months in recovery, but this has been shortened to a week! I think I am going to be in for a rough time.

Cyborgs are demanding!
The mum is demanding enough already, wanting food and cups of tea. Imagine how demanding an evil cyborg is going to be. Will I be expected to find folks for her to assimilate? That might piss off the neighbours if I steal their kids.

Cyborgs steal your household electrics!

Okay I don't mind, any excuse not to clean up, so she can have the iron and vacuum cleaner, as long as she leaves the kettle alone and the toaster. I am going to need my coffee if I need to do battle with her new evil cyborg tendencies.

I wonder what else I am in for?
Gone are the days when I could just lock her away in the cupboard.

PS. the mum/cyborg/cupboard monster and I have really appreciated all the well wishes, thoughts and prayers. She is not out of the woods yet, but fingers crossed she is doing rather bloody well.


  1. We have several options here from the Sci-Fi Genre.

    Star Wars
    Stepford Wives
    I Robot
    Bionic woman
    Battlestar Galactica
    The Mary 25 ep from Outer Limits

    Now if it is Terminator, you either have to destroy it or reprogram it. Or convince it you're not the Claire its looking for and would it please sod off. Star Wars, blast her and let the Wookiiee put her back together. Stepford Wives, you're going to have to act as knickers for brains as the other robots so you can blend in. I Robot, you're going to have to shut down the central CPU downtown. Bionic Woman shoot her and she'll come back to life in the next episode. Battlestar Galactica, Run. There are too many that look just like her. Outer Limits, chat up the technician and convince him to adjust her programming.

  2. Sounds like you have a little Harry Potter syndrome yourself. lol Just don't let her have your vibrator. ;)

  3. Good God save the toaster SAVE THE TOASTER!

  4. Good to hear all going well. And I think the borg just got bad press.

  5. I love your blog. Your comics make me laugh. ;-) And I agree with Trukindog: SAVE THAT TOASTER!

  6. where are her boobies red? did you take them? give her some hugs from podunk please and give her some boobies...

    smiles, bee

  7. @raymond, You forgot Star Trek and the borg, you should be ashamed of yourself. Love your use of 'sod off' that's a favourite saying of mine. I would like to hope the mum is more bionic woman than terminator but time will tell. Thanks for such an ace comment :)

    @Carol, The mum liked being in a cupboard :) and I wouldn't let her get anywhere near my appliances :)

    @trukindog, I will put it on a high shelf, but knowing my luck she will be able to fly up and get it.

    @thriftcriminal, Thanks thrifty :) If all the borg looked like seven of nine I wouldn't mind them so much :)

    @artconstellation,Thanks for saying that, especially when I love your blog a lot! The toaster is safe for now, I am keeping a close eye on it.

    @empress bee, I am not giving the mum boobies.

  8. Look at the bright side. Once she has a hose coming out of her head, you will never have to hoover again.

  9. It is just such a bummer when a mum is turned into a cyborg. Sometimes you have no choice but to ctrl-alt-delete her.

  10. You could try reprogramming her & if that fails, try magnets. *L* (Glad she's home.)

  11. love the doodles, lol

    So glad to hear you're mom is home and that she has such a good daughter to help her assimilate :)

  12. LOL... Cyborgs who need to be plugged in are hell on the electric bill. Good to know everything is cool!

  13. @jamie, that would be awesome! I will have to look into that.

    @nate smith, If I did that I would have to get real job, we will have to make it work some how :)

    @lana, I need to get some magnets, then. At the moment I only have fridge magnets I don't think they are powerful enough.

    @drowsey, thanks drowsey, its hard to tell the world that my mum is a cyborg, but I think people should know the risks of surgery today :)

    @jillian, shit your right! I better slap some solar panels on that cyborg bitch stat! Thanks for comment as always :)

  14. I am very disappointed Claire - your poor mum deserves boobies! Maybe if you gave her a nice pair she'd leave your toaster alone...
    Just saying.

  15. @olga, the mum may deserve boobies, but I don't think she would appreciate my accurate depiction of them :)

  16. Oh come on...anything is better than NOTHING!!!

  17. @olga, I am disturbed by this need to see the mums boobage, I hope this is just a professional interest?

  18. I hate to tell ya this but resistance is futile you know! Just give in and be assimilated, you'll be happier that way!

  19. What exactly is a vacuum?? Irons I've heard of but thank gawd for drycleaners so I don't actually have to figure out how they work....

    Vibrators??? Those I get... :-)

  20. lol @ Olga. I was just back here and looking at your doodle and thinking the same thing. I mean, I notice you draw your boobies very round and full ... ahahaha ... leave it to Olga to mention it!

  21. @Linda, I will never give in, never surrender! Ooops I went a bit Galaxy Quest then. I am a master at resistance.

    @petra, Are you pulling my leg, yanking my chain? Vacuum is a large sucking device, not to be confused with a vibrator.

    @drowsey, Hey don't encourage the Olga. My doodle boobs are art imitating life :)
    Lmao :)

  22. It seems only fair that she get all the appliances since it looks like you took her boobs.

    BTW... I'm sure I had a blender on the counter when I made coffee this morning. Tell her she can not assimilate on this side of the ocean yet.

  23. Your poor mum. You do give her a rough time from time to time don't you. I'm glad she is home and doing bloody well. Prayers and good wishes will continue. Have a great day Red. :)

  24. @laura, I did not take her boobs, I left them out :)
    I will check her chamber for the blender now, if your lucky it might not be dismantled.

    @sandee, Poor mum! what about poor Claire who has to live with a cyborg :(

    Thank you for the continued well wishes :)

  25. It's boob inequity, Claire. That's why the masses are uprising. :)

    Be careful of your mom and those nefarious robot plans. You know what Dr. Who's Cybermen can do. I don't want you to have to blog from inside a giant soup tin. :)

  26. @jenn, I can handle the masses :)
    I am only comfortable drawing my own doodle boobs and other non family members :)

    The mum/cyborg is very quiet at the moment, I think she is definitely up to something. She keeps getting annoyed when I wake her up at odd times to check on her robotic reflexes.

  27. Holy cow, your mum is BORG! Does she resemble 7 of 9? I always wanted to be her. Or at least be able to wear a catsuit with lots of metal bits on.

    Seriously though Claire I just read through a bunch of your posts about your mum and I'm soooo glad the operation went well and she's come home already, what a long time to be going through such stress! All the best of luck to you both.

  28. @bird, well I suspect the mum is a borg I don't have conclusive proof yet.

    Hell No she doesn't look like seven of nine, I would of sold her on ebay of she did :)

    Thanks for taking the time to read about the mum, that was very nice of you and much appreciated.


  29. Sorry about that. Jeri Ryan was threatening to assimilate me.

  30. I'm practicing my UK phrases so I can blend in when I come there. Still trying to figure out "Crikey."