8 Jun 2008

Taking the piss! Literally.

I thought I would do a mum update before I finish my bridesmaid story. So you will have to wait till later on today to get that tale.

The mum stayed awake during the whole NINE hours of surgery, with four surgeons working on her. When I say awake I mean as awake as you can be whilst having bits of you chopped off. The reason why she was awake, was she is just too risky a candidate for General Anaesthetic as she is allergic too it. The last time she had it for a major surgical procedure her whole body was paralyzed, as every muscle in her body forgot to work. This was some default in her auto immune system and was a very scary time for everyone. So instead of a general anaesthetic the pain was managed by an epidural. That in itself was a challenge and it took the experts over an hour to get the needle in. My mum is a complicated bugger when it comes to medical treatment.
Anyways back to the latest surgical procedure, they seem to have replaced what they needed to replace (right hip and femur) with the appropriate metal work and the mums legs are back to being the same length.
Only time will show us how successful the procedure really was, the biggest risk now is infection!

Now a funny but true moment to lighten the mood.
When you have been though major surgery they like to keep you as still as possible, so that means no unnecessary toilet trips. How does one go to the loo then? They whack in a catheter of course, a jolly apparatus that is actually far from jolly. In case you don't know what one is, a tube is shoved up your bits(urethra) and the whizz is collected in a bag. This bag has to be see through as they like to check on the colour for all sorts of medical reasons.
The mum is used to all this, as she has had one a million and one times. When you have been in and out of hospital as many times as the mum very little embarrasses you any more and you develop a robust sense of humour. If your bag needs emptying it needs emptying, so you give the nurses a buzz with plenty of warning. Unfortunately the nurses get rather busy and the bag gets fuller and fuller.

Do we think they came in time?

Of course not!


  1. I am so glad that your mum came through surgery okay. Your doodle cracked me up. I guess those nurses got to clean up that mess since they didn't get in there and get the job done. I love the fish in the piss too! *LOL*

  2. Hi Claire I hope your mum feels better and recovers.

  3. Frankly, I'm a little concerned about the fish in your mum's piss. They should check that out while she's there.

  4. Oh dear!

    I'm glad your mom came thru the surgery well. I agree with 45 ... fish in pee isn't a good sign ;)

    My did had to use a catheter the last 5 years of his life. Yikes. Anyway, we became quite the conusors of pee. The proper colour, smell ... all that stuff, lol. Oh, and we new when & how to empty it to. Lovely.

  5. .45 - here in the UK we're at the forefront of adding fish to the kidneys in order to keep them clean. A bit like the recent resurgence in use of surgical maggots and leeches.

  6. Awake for nine hours of surgery! Holy Rip! Hope things continue on an even keel for your Mom and that this time, they got things corrected properly. Keep us posted, ok?

  7. I'm so pleased to hear your Mum's op went well. As you know I stayed awake too when I had my knee replacement, but that only took two and half hours - 9 hours is a looooooong time so well done to your mum. I have my fingers crossed that it is a complete success and will be including your mum when I'm sending out Reiki.

  8. hoping the mum continues on the recovery path, she is quite the doodle looker!!! very nice...

    smiles, bee

  9. Gah that annoys me about nurses, the bag only takes maybe three minutes total to empty, measure, and record the damn thing. glad to hear she is well though. :)

  10. @crazy working mum, Yeah the mum is a trooper. I am glad you liked the doodle, I am taking it in for the mum so she can put it up on the wall and really piss the nurses off. 99.9 % of the time they are excellent. Glad you liked the fish too.

    @sogepants, thanks for that! Its much appreciated :)

    @.45, well the bag exploded and splashed all over my dad the first time and he said someone could of surfed on that tidal wave of piss, but that was a little to complex to doodle :)

    @drowsey, see comment above for fish explanation, lol! Yep I am piss expert too, I think I should add it to my CV :) Believe me, the mum gave them plenty of notice that its going to blow, if they just left us the bowl things to put it in, I or other members of the family would do it ourselves.

    @mark, obviously in America they are not at the forefront of medical technology and do not know about the importance of fish in urine.

    @jeni, Yep I don't know how she did it. Things seem to be going okay, but she managed to dislocate her shoulder yesterday pulling herself up in bed. Its corrected now, but that was a jolt of pain she didn't need. Thank you for asking and I will keep you posted :)

    @akelamalu, I don't know how you managed 2 and half hours, so no idea how the mum managed nine. I passed all the nice things you have said onto the mum and it made her smile :)

    @bee, awww thanks bee :)

    @chica, Yep I cant say that it doesn't annoy me, as I have had said they are great the majority of times but the piss bag explosion has happened a lot of times, they should know my mum a little better by now considering the amount of times she has been in. Its a good thing the mum laughs about it, well she would it never gets on her shoes! lol :)

  11. Glad your Mum is doing ok.

    By the way, could those fish be pee-ranas, the vicious little buggers from the Amazon?

  12. I can't believe the bag of wizz exploded on your dad. Gawd thats love when you let your spouse pee on you... please tell me he did not fillet the fish tho.... that would be just too gross.

    Anyhoo- glad your mom's spirits are up and she is on the road to recovery. I'll keep my fingers crossed for no infection.

  13. @lady banana, Yep she is a tough lady, or she is in fact an alien impostor posing as the mum. Either one of those could be true, lol :)

    @da old man, Thank you :)
    Heh at pee-ranas, that was pretty funny :)

    @petra, The bag of whizz has exploded on the dad more than once and other members of the family. I have been lucky so far! Some people like being whizzed on but that's not the case here! :)

    Urggh at fillet the fish, you are gross! blech!

    Thank you for crossing your fingers :)

  14. Glad your mother is through all the surgery, and my fingers are crossed that there is no infection.

    Now to your doodles...does she know that you did this? Just asking. They are very good, but will she kill you if she sees these?

    Have a great day Red. :)

  15. Oh, I forgot to say that I thought the fish swimming in the piss was a nice touch. Bwahahahaha. :)

  16. @sandee, She hasn't seen this one yet, but she knows I have done it.

    Who do you think I get my unique sense of humour from!

    She couldn't catch me to kill me anyway :) lmao!

    Some of the stories that she said I could put on here, are too much for me even :)

    Glad you liked the fish, they seem to be rather popular.

  17. Glad to hear she came through the surgery well. Love the doodles and I just can't help but wonder ... why the fish in the piss?

  18. Darlin my Momma spent more than her share of time in hospitals I know exactly what your talkin about.

    Prayers for your Mum darlin, I hope she's well soon.

  19. Hoping for no infections and glad to hear that your mum is doing so well that she's putting out lots of fluids. Lots and lots of fluids!

  20. OMG Claire - that doodle is hilarious! Such happy looking fish too! I bet the nurses are paying a little closer attention to our mums needs now, eh? Stay strong! :)

  21. @dale, Thank you :)
    Don't you read the my replies up above? lazy pants. My dad made a comment about surfing on a tidal wave of piss when it bust the other day, that was a bit to complex to doodle so I added some fish instead :)

    @trukindog, I don't like to complain about the nurses and the mum never does, but sometimes they do fuck up :)
    Thanks for the prayers.

    @Linda, I know you know the importance of fluids, but I personally don't want to be covered in them. Not that I am implying would, I will shut up now :)

    @Olga, I know you get my sense of humour :)
    I think my mum keeps them check most of the time, heh.

  22. Hey Claire! You haven't been by to visit in a while and I see've been busy!

    Glad to hear that you're Mom made it through surgery okay. Now I hope she heals fast and easily!!!

    When I had each of my children I had a C-section and enjoyed the catheter...NOT! My bag overflowed many's so degrading. I love your doodle!!! LOL! Your Mum is lucky to have you to lighten her spirits!


  23. @random chick, I am about just not much to say, as the brain is full!

    Feel free to yell at me if your feeling neglected :P

    The bag overflowing is not a good thing at all and I wish it didn't happen at all! It doesn't embarrass the mum any more as she is so use to stuff like that now, although I am sure she would rather it not happen. Secretly I think she plans it for when I am wearing flip flops! heh :)

  24. I've always known fish to swim in a golden steam of pee....

  25. @erika, I knew there was a reason I liked you :)