18 Mar 2011

Grumpus and The Snakes of Terror!

Grumpus has run into trouble again, his heavy drinking session with Patrick led to all sorts of Shenanigans and a whole island full of snakes attached to him!

Grumpus continued his wandering around the world, after spending a happy, but flatulent, time with Dewi, he now found himself with his old chum Patrick in Ireland. After a Guinness or twenty, Grumpus foolishly suggested a game of 'Toss the Leprechauns', and for some reason, the wee fella's did not take kindly to being hurled through the air. So without so much as a kiss of the Barney Stone, the leprechauns whacked Grumpus on the head, with their magic Shelagh, and Grumpus disappeared!

Grumpus and The Snakes of Terror

Hours later Grumpus wakes up and finds himself covered in snakes! Luckily hairy beasts of terror, like the Grumpus, are not afraid of snakes. All that Guinness and magical travel had made him quite peckish, so he ate the snakes, which tasted rather like chicken. With a sigh and a longing look across the sea, to the Emerald Isle, he continued on with his endless wanderings. The Grumpus doesn't like to ponder too much on things and he certainly didn't want to piss off any more leprechauns.

So Grumpus was banished to Grumpus Island, a horrid and cruel place, later to be known as 'England' (strange name, eh?). Grumpus was slightly annoyed that Patrick escaped the Leprechaun wrath, Patrick even got all the credit for ridding Ireland of snakes and was made into a Saint! Bloody typical.

Top of the Morning, Noon and Night to the lot of you (especially my Irish side of the family). Yes I know it's not actually St Patrick's Day anymore, but I just woke up from a Guinness binge*

*No actual binge drinking happened, not even a Guinness this year! Sorry Grandad.



  1. Ooooh England is formerly known as Grumpus Land? I was kinda shocked when Grumpus woke up covered in snakes :|. That can't be fun, well he ate them in the end, I wouldn't eat the snake. I think I would roll around or faint again.

    I need to google WTFWGGN now. I can figure out the first words though hehe.

  2. So it wasn't Patrick who got all of the snakes out of Ireland but it was Grumpus? Hmpfh! We could be celebrating Saint Grumpus Day instead - who knew?

    And for the record no Guinness for myself either as I spent the whole day at work fending off evil 911 callers ... they're a lot like snakes now that I think about it!

  3. ROFL!!!! @ WTFWGGN? I think I've got that translation down... I won't spill it though. But I just got a good chuckle! Where indeed?

  4. OH. MY. GOD. love your doodles and, the story ain't half bad too!!! You're talented... I am now a follower!!!

  5. WTFWGGN= where the frak were my Guiness gone?

  6. So, have you gotten an agent yet? If not, you should!!! I just love your stuff, and it just keeps getting better and better...

  7. Tee hee! How fun. I love your stories. Like everyone else, gotta figure out WTFWGGN, too. Any hints?

  8. I'm starting to rue my boring life here in the States, after reading about all of Grumpus' adventures. Leprechaun tosses, magic Shelaghs, exile to a dangerous land, snakefests, etc.,-makes the life of an aphorist seem pretty dull.

  9. @TJ

    England has had a dark, varied and slightly made up past.... :)

    Snakes are tastlicious! But I think you can tell why Grumpus maybe grumpy a lot, he is very unlucky.


    @Linda, See I knew Grumpus could count on your support, it is a total injustice, that bloody Patrick.

    @Lisa, Hmmm I think you might be the only one!

    @justine, thanks muchly :)

    @Deray, nope! But good try :)

    @Amazing Gracie, I am still waiting for the call :) :)

    @Janene, no hints! I am feeling mean(er) :)

    @NP, I have a slight inkling that Grumpus would have loved hanging out with you in the 60s...

    @Parabolic :) :)

    @Lemony: Thanks very much :) :)

  10. "there's *mmm-yom-yom-yom* snakes in these *mmm-yom-yom-yom* plains"